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Too F​*​g For Love

by Middle-Aged Queers

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  • T-Shirt/Shirt

    You get both our debut record AND our classic "Golden Girls" t-shirt.

    Thank you for being a friend, friend!
    ships out within 15 days

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    We sold out of the first pressing of these 10" records without playing any shows to support it! Clearly, a re-press was in order.
    This batch is limited edition of 250 copies on clear wax with silver and pink splatters.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Too F*g For Love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 30 days
    edition of 250 

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Second Pressing! These were commissioned by Say10 Records who will be releasing our next album in 2022!
    This batch is limited edition of 100 copies on 50/50 black and pink vinyl.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Too F*g For Love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 30 days
    edition of 100 

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Second pressing! This variant was commissioned by Sell the Heart Records who helped catapult into queer rock sublebrities in the midst of a global pandemic!
    This batch is limited edition of 50 copies on white wax with silver and pink splatters.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Too F*g For Love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 30 days
    edition of 50 

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Limited edition of CDs made specifically for our performance at the 2021 Punk Rock Bowling Festival. Professionally duplicated (not burnt!) compact disc in a fold-over sleeve.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Too F*g For Love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 30 days
    edition of 100  15 remaining

      $8 USD or more 

     

1.
Gary’s making biscuits. Making biscuits. Gary, what kind of biscuits are you making for me? Gary, what’s in your recipe? Fuzzy purring pussy you’re waking me up. It’s far too early, it’s 7-o-clock.
2.
Bike Cock 02:02
Fuck that cock get it out of my face! If you ride bike then you’ll ride a dick. If you ride a bike your ass’ll look slamming. Valet park that bike and take public transit. No emissions for admission; you’ll ride that dick. Stations passing by; You’re on your way now. Ass, grass, or cash is not needed for this ride. Tag your card out or hop the turnstile. No emissions for admission; just ride that dick.
3.
I know you, you shamster. I saw your smirking, grinning, noddling through the day and I knew you’d lied. With mincing steps, you gated before men, shouting of your valor. Yet you, you idiot, I knew you were lying! Flashback to a room you’ve never been in. Trashcan. If you can’t refuse to reuse. Smash hand when the cards have all been played. Last dance when the past will be here so soon. I know you, you shamster! I heard you honeying your words, Licking your lips and smacking them over, twiddling your thumbs. I know you, you shamster! You are the world the world knows. You are the me the world knows. This planshet won’t move itself. It glides towards what is real. True horror sets, cardboard and felt, candle wax and lipstick smears. Know not the hedgerows hammers. Time yellowed, just like us. Let all their minds tend to the past. Midnight oil or I will rust. Hold on, move on. Float by, by line.
4.
SoDoMe 03:05
You’re asshole is so magical. It isn’t just a medical disposal for your food or your cheat-day morsels. No need to use protection. No worries of infection. Gobbling up Truvada blues and we won’t get the booty flu. Sodomy: It’s like a job to me. Just the tip or let it slip deeper inside of me. Sodomy: Backdoor lobotomy. Just the tip or let it slip deeper inside of me.
5.
Green on green translucent skin. (Dig up the corpses.) Stitch and suture lacerations again. (Galvanize steel bolts) Resurrection! The new Prometheus. (Dig up the corpses.) Ligaments, dull pigments, and husk. (Lost in dark distance.) He’s alive, she’s alive, they’re alive. Frankenstein’s alive. Corporal merger, wedding night death bed. (Dig up the corpses.) Shocked, lifeless; father, we’re in the red. (Galvanize steel bolts.) A venture, a vulture; left out in the cold. (Dig up the corpses.) Leaving the dock with ash in the fold. (Alone in dark distance.)
6.
There was no reason to do just what you say. Everything I fight for came back ten times my way. Strange faulting sequence fall apart into decay. (Mis)carrying over to new meanings. Now how do you live? The more that you leave it, the more you will stay. Attached to the lever, antennas to help pray. The second you fight it, a surcharge to pay. You won’t find a leaver, the colors will run gray. You’re pacing, you’re sweating, your face cold as clay. Buzzards are circling, there’s dragons to slay. Fawning off newborns, rubbed bloody from fray. Gucci-brand bagged eyes, a shriveled bouquet.
7.
Red Herring 02:39
Cast a vote like it matters. Write a love letter or move a chess piece. Serve it up on a platter. Moving piles of shit on the open green. Think of the former or the latter. Pound the pavement, promise world peace. While the war chest kitty gets fatter. Moving piles of shit on the open green. Inspiration! Aspiration! Motivation! Calvination! Cocktail parties, democracy! Oh, no! Consternation! Participation! Lubrication! Indoctrination! Constipation across the nation!
8.
We are the queers. The Middle-Aged Queers. We’re the fucking queers. Go fuck yourself. I was in the front lines when it was past your bedtime. Our hearts are pumping lube and glitter. Yours are filled with kitty litter. We’re rising from the smoke and rubble. Just in time to burst your bubble Go fuck yourself ..

about

Eight songs recorded in eight hours with Bart Thurber at House of Faith Studios in Oakland, California. 90% was done live with no more than two takes because overthinking punk rock is silly.

credits

released March 14, 2020

Special thanks to all dozen of our friends who've seen us play live.

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all rights reserved

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about

Middle-Aged Queers Oakland, California

Crawling out of the primordial ooze of punk past, Middle-Aged Queers are a quartet of Jurassic Punx barreling down Interstate 580 on a mission to save Rock and Roll with broken limbs and gear held together with duct tape.

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